How to Cope with Lockdown When Your Mental Health is Already F#cked

I have been unemployed, hospitalised with chronic illness and housebound with depression. Here’s what I learnt about staying sane when life exists within four walls

Sian Abigail Bradley

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I’m no stranger to isolation. I’ve been social distancing before the government told me to. Years of battling depression, eating disorders, anxiety, self-harm and suicidal urges have kept me strapped to my bed or hiding indoors, for days, weeks, months on end. Then I was made redundant only months into my first Proper Job, flinging me into the abyss of unemployment. Zero-hour contracts, part-time hours and the digital nature of media meant I was at home — a lot. Like, 70% of the time.

In my final year of university, I suffered from recurring Paratonsilar Abscesses (save yourself and do not Google that) that put me in hospital for days at a time. Finally, I had an operation to remove my tonsils. All of this medical care amounted to lots of days lost to a hospital bed, with nothing but my mobile phone and books to keep me company. When the morphine wore off, I took to pacing the hospital corridors to feel alive. In these times, I learnt to find joy in small things. In messages from friends, the blossom drifting off the trees past twisting church spires poking through gaps in a grimy window, a nurse with a warm smile handing me a bowl of gloop.

And so, when Boris announced he was putting tighter measures in place in the UK to try and halt the spread of Coronavirus, I realised that I had spent the best part of a year living in my own lockdown. Not the best feeling, sure, but it means I’m feeling pretty prepared for the mundanity of the future. Being stuck indoors, working from my bedroom and only leaving to pick up groceries or my medication is a standard Tuesday for me.

Credit: Insta @gmf.designs

Losing your job sucks. Under Capitalism, we are taught that what we do for work defines who we are. Having that taken away sheds your self-worth into dirty tatters. This, coupled with drawn-out days staring at a laptop screen, cut off…

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