How to Cope with Lockdown When Your Mental Health is Already F#cked

I have been unemployed, hospitalised with chronic illness and housebound with depression. Here’s what I learnt about staying sane when life exists within four walls

I’m no stranger to isolation. I’ve been social distancing before the government told me to. Years of battling depression, eating disorders, anxiety, self-harm and suicidal urges have kept me strapped to my bed or hiding indoors, for days, weeks, months on end. Then I was made redundant only months into my first Proper Job, flinging me into the abyss of unemployment. Zero-hour contracts, part-time hours and the digital nature of media meant I was at home — a lot. Like, 70% of the time.

In my final year of university, I suffered from recurring Paratonsilar Abscesses (save yourself and do not Google that) that put me in hospital for days at a time. Finally, I had an operation to remove my tonsils. All of this medical care amounted to lots of days lost to a hospital bed, with nothing but my mobile phone and books to keep me company. When the morphine wore off, I took to pacing the hospital corridors to feel alive. In these times, I learnt to find joy in small things. In messages from friends, the blossom drifting off the trees past…